Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Can I Get Some CHEESE With That?

Okay, so nobody likes a whiner. Especially if the voice is piercing your inner core. But I think that once in a while we have to have the chance to get away with a little whining. And since you cannot hear my soul-piercing vocal renderings, here goes... So I slept, um...NOT AT ALL last night. I tossed and turned ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I have to admit that I did sleep some, but you know that feeling when you wake up every time you turn over and then you turn over and over and over...all night long? That was me. PLUS... and this is MORE than a little embarrassing...I had a very oniony dinner early in the evening. Chili cheese dogs to be exact. Not an ounce of nutrition was in that meal. Well, onions ARE good for you. And boy did I have my Recommended Daily dose of onions! MMM... (Jason had the same thing, so we were not exactly offending each other.) This kind of meal has never kept me up at night, but I don't know... last night it was an especially strong producer of WHINE. The first mistake was the meal. The second mistake, and it was a big one, was forgetting to brush my teeth before bed. NO WAY, you say. Yep. Bad, bad mistake. EVERY time I turned over, and remember I told you I did that a LOT, I woke up. And EVERY time I woke up, I tasted onions. Do you know how disgusting your breath is if it keeps you up at night? Unfortunately, I was in a state of half-sleep that kept me from getting out of bed and handling the matter, so it continued ALL night long. Now here is the really awful part. My breath was apparently so bad that it pierced my subconscious and I had a DREAM about it! I dreamt that I didn't want to get too close to my daughter because I knew by breath was horrible! I mean, I was really upset and insistent that she stay away from me!! MAN! My poor husband! He shares a bed with this!!! So, to continue the whining, I woke up with my entire body sore and achy, like I had been working out on a rowing machine all night long. And...(if you are a dude, just skip this part)...George has been visiting all week. George is what my newest customer-friend calls the "monthly visitor" we all dread. She says "George" just sounds less aggressive...LOL. Anyway, George came over and beat the crap out of me Sunday and Monday. Yesterday he was kinder to me and I was able to drag myself up and out of the deep, gelatinous glob of mush that I had become. Then today, out of nowhere, George rushed into my room and hit me with a two-by-four!!! Left me doubled over and in severe pain all afternoon!!! Hmm... maybe Michelle Duggar has the right idea. She knows JUST how to keep George from visiting... NAH


  1. Oh my word, that was so crazy of a night!! I'm ashamed to admit you had me laughing so hard because the way you described everything made it so visual!! Hope your sleep is better tonight! And please fill me in on who Michelle is.

  2. Michelle is the mom the Duggar kids on 19 Kids and Counting. LOL