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Ancient Woman

I just had it brought to my attention recently that my wittle, ittle baby boy is going to be a teenager this year.  

Say WHAT???  I must have just had on blinders and blocked that fact completely from my mind.  But in May I will pass yet another milestone in life.  No longer a mom to small children or little boys and a girl... but a mom to two teens and, get this, a TWENTY-THREE year old daughter.  I feel ancient.

My daughter, by the way, passed her own milestone recently by spreading her golden wings and flying the coop.  On one hand I am extremely proud of her and very happy for her to have her own place, yet on the other hand my heart was broken in a way only moms can know.  Jason said he will miss her but that it's just another phase of life and we must just keep going.  This is a fact I am aware of, thank you very much, but that doesn't change the fact that my little red-headed sweet baby is now an independent woman and is no longer at home with me.  She has so much ahead of her and all I can do is hope that we taught her well and that she makes the right choices in life.  But she isn't HERE and that makes me sad.

My middle son, and yes, he does exhibit ALL the signs of a middle child, has just told me that he is NOT moving out this summer as he planned, but is staying with us a little longer.  He is 18 and very excited about that,and happily he is showing more maturity and responsibility, so this year is looking up.   It's hard on us moms, when we love our child so fiercely that we don't want to let go.  We have to grow up as they grow wings and we have to realize that holding on too tightly can, instead of bringing them closer,  create a distance between us.
  I remember that sweet little chubby-cheeked, red-headed boy who loved me more than anything and wonder where he has been these last couple of years.  He is still affectionate and adorable, don't get me wrong, but as he moves into manhood, I have to realize that the dynamics of our relationship are so incredibly altered from the times when he wanted to be with no one else and I was the only one who could kiss his tears away.  And of course, that is the way it is supposed to be.  But I can still pout about it.  :P

So now I get to the part I argue with my friends about.  They say I am too soft on my baby boy.  Okay, so I will concede that this is PARTIALLY true.  Yes, I am easy on him most of the time.  I am holding on to him with all my might right now.  Yes, that is the clingy side of me; the side that doesn't want her baby to grow up.  I don't have a little baby to cuddle anymore.  I don't have a little boy that sits in my lap and gets me to read to him over and over again.  I don't have a little one that looks up at me as if I were the most adored being on earth.
But, I do have a really cool kid to hang out with.  I do have a silly boy that still loves the things I love... old Star Trek reruns... the beauty of nature...funky 80's music...and reading for hours at a time.  Hopefully that will last a long time.  Who knows if his teenage years will tear him from me, but I will fight it with all my might.  I will not be TOO easy on him, because I know that he needs to learn that life isn't all a bed of roses and I know he needs to be able to function in society with good life skills and responsibility.  I want him to grow up to be a caring, generous, loving man and I will work hard to get him there.  But for right now.... he's still my baby.

From Thrift Store Sweater to Oh-So-Cute Bag

My sister told me she wanted a sweater bag. She is in the full-time ministry and I knew just what kind of bag she needed. So, I ran to Goodwill and found this awesome striped sweater. I didn't have a pattern. I just knew what she wanted and got busy. (Sorry. I don't have photos of all of the stages of construction.) I dug through my fabric stash and found a fun purple fabric for the liner. I decided that I wanted to make this as simply as possible, so I planned accordingly. First, I measured the sweater to see what was usable in open space, without seams. This measurement included two inches on each side and also to the bottom. I cut a 2" square out of the lower corners to form the sides and bottom. I cut four of this shape out of a firm fusible interfacing and two out of the purple liner. I cut the sweater up the sides and laid one of the fusible pieces on the front and the back, lining up the stripes exactly. I fused that together and cut it out. That one step, fusing the interfacing to the sweater, made a WORLD of difference when I went to sew this together!! I made the liner first. I fused the interfacing to the lining fabric. I cut out a pocket and made a zipper welt pocket for all her loose items. Then I made a lined pocket for the other side. If I had pictures, I would elaborate more on that. I was so into the groove of sewing that I totally forgot to photograph it. The handles were a royal pain in the rear and I got so frustrated (well, George was here and being mean!) that Jason said, "Babe, just walk away." That's hard for me to do when I am right in the middle of creating something. This is especially the case when it is something made from scratch since my mind and plans are not on paper but in my jumbled head. But I took his advise and left it. This morning, I got started again even though my back and neck were aching like crazy. (I already did the whining in my earlier post, so I'll stop now.) Okay, so I got back to the handles. I only had two sleeves, and I had completely messed one up earlier...thus the frustration.(Picture it flying across the room...cause that's what happened.) So, it was back to the drawing board. I got those made finally. They actually turned out awesome! Once I sewed the whole thing together I was happy, but it was missing something. I looked at the turtleneck from the sweater and decided I needed a flower for the bag. I made that and stitched it with a large round button topped with a faceted purple button. Tell me what you think! And since George returned and beat me up again, Jason surprised me with a huge selection of sugary sweetness...and a Slim Jim! LOL

Can I Get Some CHEESE With That?

Okay, so nobody likes a whiner. Especially if the voice is piercing your inner core. But I think that once in a while we have to have the chance to get away with a little whining. And since you cannot hear my soul-piercing vocal renderings, here goes... So I slept, um...NOT AT ALL last night. I tossed and turned ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I have to admit that I did sleep some, but you know that feeling when you wake up every time you turn over and then you turn over and over and over...all night long? That was me. PLUS... and this is MORE than a little embarrassing...I had a very oniony dinner early in the evening. Chili cheese dogs to be exact. Not an ounce of nutrition was in that meal. Well, onions ARE good for you. And boy did I have my Recommended Daily dose of onions! MMM... (Jason had the same thing, so we were not exactly offending each other.) This kind of meal has never kept me up at night, but I don't know... last night it was an especially strong producer of WHINE. The first mistake was the meal. The second mistake, and it was a big one, was forgetting to brush my teeth before bed. NO WAY, you say. Yep. Bad, bad mistake. EVERY time I turned over, and remember I told you I did that a LOT, I woke up. And EVERY time I woke up, I tasted onions. Do you know how disgusting your breath is if it keeps you up at night? Unfortunately, I was in a state of half-sleep that kept me from getting out of bed and handling the matter, so it continued ALL night long. Now here is the really awful part. My breath was apparently so bad that it pierced my subconscious and I had a DREAM about it! I dreamt that I didn't want to get too close to my daughter because I knew by breath was horrible! I mean, I was really upset and insistent that she stay away from me!! MAN! My poor husband! He shares a bed with this!!! So, to continue the whining, I woke up with my entire body sore and achy, like I had been working out on a rowing machine all night long. And...(if you are a dude, just skip this part)...George has been visiting all week. George is what my newest customer-friend calls the "monthly visitor" we all dread. She says "George" just sounds less aggressive...LOL. Anyway, George came over and beat the crap out of me Sunday and Monday. Yesterday he was kinder to me and I was able to drag myself up and out of the deep, gelatinous glob of mush that I had become. Then today, out of nowhere, George rushed into my room and hit me with a two-by-four!!! Left me doubled over and in severe pain all afternoon!!! Hmm... maybe Michelle Duggar has the right idea. She knows JUST how to keep George from visiting... NAH

You Talk Too Much! Homegirl, you NEVER shut up!

This has never been said about me.  Well, once, when my father told me I had diarrhea of the mouth. But I was only 9 at the time.  Since then, everyone says I am quiet and I don't talk much.  Except my best friend.  I guess we do get chatty, but she does most of the talking.  My husband makes a joke of it and tells me to shut up all the time.  I don't know why I keep things inside.  Maybe I think most people would think I was an idiot if I were to let loose with the ramblings of my twisted brain.  I tend to think things are funny in a way that most people might think is really off.  WAY off.  Another reason I might keep quiet is because I really enjoy just taking in what is around me.  I love to soak in the details of the scenery as I ride along in a car, for instance.  My mind goes to so many places when I do this.  I think this drives my husband crazy.  Now, as I think about it, I must be a really boring companion.
The point of all of this rambling is to let you know that that is what I am going to be doing here.  Rambling.  Maybe some of what is inside me will get out and maybe you will find me a really boring companion...or not. You decide.